My Two-Cents: The Sandbox
Someone once told me that once you graduate from academia, the only thing that matters is how well you play in the sandbox. How fitting (and ironic) that the real world is just where we (metaphorically) return to the parks and playgrounds and sandboxes we all adored so much as kids.
When I was a little kid, my neighborhood was filled with a GANG of elementary-aged kids. Some of my first memories were of taking my razor scooter up the block to knock on my friend's doors and ask if they could play. I learned a lot from these early interactions. I had to muster up the courage to go knock on the doors up and down the street and beg someone to hang out with me – because I was probably sick of hanging out with my younger (and extremely uncool) sister. And funds had probably dried up and my mom no longer wanted to pay me to hang out with her. (If you’re reading this — that’s right, Brooke – mom paid me to hang out with you. And she has paid all the friends you’ve ever had to hang out with you. This is all an unfortunate story, but it’s time you heard the truth! You have always been just so insufferable it’s the only way to get you out of the house! ;)) So anyways, I was back to square one where I searched for new playmates. And I usually found a couple. We ran around and wreaked havoc on the kitchen of whoever's parents weren't home. Plus my mom never bought any good (unhealthy) snacks, so getting a cosmic brownie was like finding a diamond in the rough. During these playdates, my neighbors and I would also play Guitar Hero, try to figure out if anyone with a trampoline was home, watch the Party Rock Anthem music video, and try to memorize the dance routine. All extremely important skills. (My college roommates can attest to my Guitar Hero skills. And so can JJ the elf, for that matter. Since one time we did find him hugging the guitar.) But more importantly, we learned how to disagree. We learned how to divvy up the last cosmic brownie so everyone got a fair piece. We learned how to take turns playing the guitar hero drums. We learned how to play in the sandbox, and consequently – the skills we would later use as adults.
Playing in the sandbox shouldn’t be a daunting task – though it was sometimes nerve-racking asking a kid who looked like a biter at the playground to share his shovel. And it was even more daunting where your 4-year-old intuition was right, and he was a biter! But every up has its down, much like when you ran crying to your mom and then his mom scolded him and made him go home and give you his shovel. Justice prevails! And being a tattletale is okay in marginal doses. Many of these sandbox situations translate to those in the real world. And playing in this sandbox can seem daunting. Because much like the childhood sandbox, no one gives you rules. Your parents send you off and you learn as you go. There is no playbook for people, though millions of books have been sold in that exact pursuit. At the end of the day, the sandbox skills we learned as kids — sharing, compromising, navigating conflict, and even standing up for ourselves — are the same ones we need as adults.
Another one of life’s ironies is how the playground prepared us better for the “real world” than we realized at the time. And yet, for some reason, we’ve convinced ourselves that once we swap plastic shovels for spreadsheets, everything becomes more complicated. The stakes might feel higher – instead of fighting over a cosmic brownie, we’re negotiating a promotion, resolving a team conflict, or collaborating on a big project. But the principles remain the same: be kind, listen, share, take turns, and don’t bite. Because no matter how old we get, we’re all just kids at heart, hoping someone will share their shovel.
