My Two-Cents: Tomfoolery
Last week during a class discussion that ended up on a tangent array to the original subject matter, my Econ Prof remarked that back in his day, it used to be really hard to distract yourself. If you wanted to be distracted, you had to ACTIVELY search that shit out. This is in contrast to the current realm, where we are able to distract ourselves whenever we wish. We have the most distracting devices in human evolution attached to our hips at all times. It’s actually gotten harder to not distract yourself. There is no need to pick up knitting when a plethora of videos, games, and yada yada yada are at our disposable whenever we please. This is interesting food for thought. People used to just raw dog the world. They used to reverse-ipad kid planes, staring at the sky with just their thoughts for a while. And I suppose this is probably where hobbies like knitting and puzzles and running came to fruition. And also hanging out with friends. And coming up with really fucking stupid ideas with your friends after a couple too many beers. Here are some of the current ideas that my friends have entertained, and in the process, distracted me by.
- A 3-part alcohol-involved cooking show. Think like Chopped style with high-end judges like Gordan Ramsey serving cunt while severely intoxicated. During round one, the judges are plastered. They’re scarfing that shit down. During round two, the contestants are dickered, trying to make Souflee after 12 Coors lights. It’s a madhouse. It's cattywompous prime-time television. During round three, everyone is plastered. Some guy brings in a McDonald's Happy Meal and clinches the whole competition in the flesh.
- Tornado-shoot. What if there was a way to have an airbag-like safety feature where when you entered a tornado, you could have a safety parachute that deploys when you get taken a drift outside the eye of the tornado. Then you drift to safety. Even better, what if all the cars in Tornado Valley had a tornado shoot feature. Even better than that, what if we put the parachute on the tornado itself so that way it would drift off and just not be a problem anymore. My friend was very disappointed when he pitched this idea to a Meteorology major at the bar and he told him it was indeed, impossible.
- Drunk Shark Tank. Three rounds, in a similar style to the drunk cooking show. In the first round, the sharks are drunk. In the second part, the contestants are drunk. Contestants will be chosen at random from the sample size of drunk people on the streets. Third round, we replace the sharks with actual sharks in a real tank. Option fourth is the actual sharks get drunk. We might have to work around some PETA specifics with this one. And if the real sharks don’t like your idea, you get dropped into the real shark tank. Also fine print will specify that all drunk offers and actions are legally binding.
