My Two-Cents: Mickey Mouse Was a Rat

Did you know Mickey Mouse was a rat? I didn’t until a couple days ago. He was a fucking rat! One of my professors embarked on a slight tangent about the Mickey Mouse rat-to-mouse transformation the other day; apparently, Disney thought the mouse persona would be more likable. Talk about some character development. Here are some other things I think are good for character development. 

1. Doing the NYT games daily. Doing the Wordle is good for the soul. The Mini-crossword builds strength. And Connections either makes me feel proud and accomplished or fucking pissed off. But either way, the social contract I’ve entered with my family NYT game group chat begs that I send my results every day, and receive their unhindered harsh judgment if I screwed up the puzzle. All of these things are key to character development. Snapchat streaks are out. Sending your NYT game scores are in. Plus, it keeps you humble.
2. Being ugly. Everyone needs to be ugly once. An awkward braces phase, not knowing how to apply bronzer, or sporting a viciously unflattering side-part. All of these things are key. You can’t ever be a mouse if you aren’t at one time a rat. I rocked all of these things from the era of 2016 to 2019, and I can tell you I am a better person because of it. Being ugly makes you learn to become pretty on the inside! Being ugly makes you learn to become funny. And humor prevails over vanity.
3. Wearing Nike Elite Basketball Socks. All of today’s cool people once had an oversized collection of colored Nike Elite Basketball socks. Actually, where did these go? It seems as if they vanished out of thin air. They were once a closet staple, but now they seem far and few between. I’m hoping these make a comeback in 2024. Protect your ankles –  long live the Nike Elites.
4. Being annoying. Being annoying makes you more compassionate, in my opinion. Those who were annoying as fuck in 9th grade are probably cool people now. Going through a phase of not knowing when to shut up really teaches you a lot about yourself. (I am still going through that phase, hence the creation of nc2s.)
5. Having poor style. This is an intrinsic step on the path to finding your “best self”. Or, more realistically, “what’s probably good enough”. Before you can learn to dress to your color pallet and in-vogue, you must first go through a phase of wearing thick multi-colored Under Armour headbands and ponytailed t-shirts with mismatching basketball shorts. You can really tell if a guy is “working on himself” if he’s dressed like a Nike Highlighter. It’s a canon event and character-development necessity.

Before you can be cool, you must first be a loser. Before you can be a mouse, you must first be a rat. Just like handy-dandy Mickey Mouse. Character development is what bridges that gap. And Nike Elite Socks.

Or you can just decide you're cool with being a rat.