My Two-Cents: The Loser List

Recently, I started a Loser List in my Notes app. One of the podcasts I listened to talked about the fun of lists, specifically the Loser List, so I thought I would give it a try. My new favorite hobby has been adding people to the Loser List. I myself was even on the list for a short time last week when I overslept my alarm and almost missed my little sister's graduation party. That was real Loser–List-level behavior on my behalf – but after serving my time, I kindly omitted my name. Here are the basic rules of the Loser List. 

1. Being on the Loser List is still honorable. There are some people who are so dishonorable, they don’t even get considered for the Loser List. 
2. Open-Bars are the universal, unanimous exception from the Loser List. All actions normally resulting in placement onto the loser list will be voided if they took place at an open bar. Surely, you (and I) are not responsible for our actions in an open bar setting – it’s one of life's great hall passes. Did you really drink too much, or were you overserved? Always shift the blame to someone else at an open bar. 

That’s it. It’s pretty straightforward. Here’s a snippet of my personal Loser List, in case you were looking for inspiration on starting your own. 

1. Anyone Riding a Byrd Scooter. No one, I repeat NO ONE looks cool riding a Byrd Scooter. It’s the great un-cool-equalizer. 
2. Ellen
3. People who tell you they're Sound Cloud rappers at the bar
4. Lil Dicky
5. People who order Bud light
6. Scott Frost
7. People who drink Pink Whitney
8. Guys who wear hats on top of their head
9. People who post Instagram photos with captions that are just song lyrics
10. Me (I served my time)
11. People who don’t capitalize the beginning of sentences
12. Anyone who’s chasing after a ping-pong ball
13. People who use peace signs
14. Kanye