My Two-Cents: The Penultimate Problem

Today, after I did the Wordle, NYT mini crossword, and proceeded to contemplate my existence, I dragged myself to the kitchen to make my morning coffee and bagel. But as my knife struck the cream cheese tub, an overwhelming feeling of concern struck my gut (sorry I’m being a bit dramatic) – I only had enough cream cheese left for the current bagel I toasted, but I had another bagel left in the bag. The penultimate bagel might be my last this week. The Penultimate Problem. It would be silly to buy another tub of cream cheese for one bagel. So silly, I could not. But also – I couldn’t waste the last bagel and I DEFINITELY was not going to eat in plain like a heathen. I would only have enough cream cheese for the penultimate bagel. So what was I supposed to do?

The Penultimate Problem. Penultimate means second-to-last. I can think of plenty of penultimate things around me – but I rarely take the time to notice them. There is much praise for firsts, lasts, and sometimes even half-ways and various other checkpoints. But penultimates seldom get the recognition they deserve. Right now, I am in my penultimate year of education. I am actually in the penultimate month of the school year. So I’m on the penultimate of the penultimate – and on this day I happened to have my penultimate bagel of the pack – what a coincidence! Our second-to-lasts hold the wistfulness of the last without the feeling of it actually being over. I still have one bagel left. I still have another month left of this school year. I still have a year left of college. But penultimate still reminds us that we’re on the cusp of an ending. And consequently, a new beginning. 

Some of my favorite things are penultimate! Thor-Ragnorok (the second-to-last in its series), Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (the second-to-last if you go by book order, not movie you fool). I would say April (the penultimate month of the school year) was probably my favorite month as a kid. This last year (20) could probably be considered my second-to-last year of being a kid. I’m going to consider 21 as my last year. 22 is when I’ll really start to get my shit together… Penultimates remind us that the ending is near, and it might be time to clean up the act, but we still have time. Time to adjust when it's still plausible to inflict change. If you’ve ever run track, you probably know that it’s a little too late to recover a large increment of ground in the fourth lap of the mile. You might be able to account for some lost time if you increase speed in the third, though. That’s why it’s good to recognize and appreciate the Penultimate – that’s how you counteract the Penultimate Problem. Or you just give in to Walmart online order and add another tub of cream cheese to the cart. 

Kate