My Two-Cents: Cults I Would Join

As a general rule of thumb, I would say I try to avoid cults. And cult-like behavior for that matter. HOWEVER – there a few cults, that if they showed up at my doorstep, I would probably join. And I think everybody probably feels the same, whether they would admit it or not. Here are my five Achilles heel cults.

Diet Coke: If Diet coke started a cult, I would be the first to become a full-fledged member. No persuasion needed. If Diet Coke has 1 million followers, I am one. If Diet Coke has 10,000 followers, I am one. If Diet Coke has 10 followers and they are societial outliers, I am still one. I would lay my life on the line for a Casey’s $1 medium-fountain Diet Coke. And I would do so without a single regret. No other soda has me acting this way – I strongly believe that Pepsi products are spawn of satan. You can disagree with my Diet-Coke loyalty, that is totally your right to an opinion – you would just be completely wrong from an ethical and moral standpoint.

Andy Samberg: If Andy Samberg started a cult of any sort, I would probably have to join. No further explanation. I would happily condone his band (TheLonelyIsland)  serenading me to sleep every night.

Guitar Hero Cult: For players who are status medium level or above. Cue Ozzy Osborne's Crazy Train.

Harmonica Playing Cult: I bought a harmonica, and am still a little wet behind the ears with it. If a harmonica-playing cult were to show up at my doorstep playing the introduction to Piano Man, I would probably drop all of my life’s goals and aspirations and run into the nearest sunset with them. Bonus points if Billy Joel is the leader of this cult. 

Harry Potter Cult: Name 5 spells or we can’t let you in.

However, if any other cult than the listed above tries to recruit me, I would simply not be interested.

Thanks,

Kate

P.S., I think the main problem with cults is they always get carried away. When I start a cult someday, we’re gonna be chill about it.