My Two-Cents: Christmas Vacation Supremacy

“She wrapped up her damn cat!” is one of my favorite movie lines of all time. It rarely has its calling for insertion into daily conversation, but I will find a way during the holiday season to mix it in. It’s also from the best Christmas movie of all time, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Let us give credit where credit is due. It’s truly unbeatable. And if you choose to deny the Griswold Family Supremacy, Bah Fuckin Humbug. Now let me introduce some of my favorite lines that make the classic a fucking classic.

• “Take a look around you, Ellen. We’re at the threshold of hell!”
• “He worked really hard Grandpa. So do washing machines -Grandpa”
• “What is it? A letter confirming your reservation at the nuthouse?”
• “I don’t know what to say, but it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery” **Ellen then proceeds to light a cigarette
• “Hallelujah! Holy Shit! Where’s the Tylenol?”
• “When Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes on this side of the nuthouse”
• (And of course) “Mom This box is meowing. Let me see it. She wrapped up her damn cat!”

The quotes and numerous bits make this movie my favorite watch during December. Like when the Christmas tree won’t fit in their living room. Or Clark gets stuck in the attic. Or Cousin Eddie and his RV. But past the plot and point, this movie (in my opinion) emphasizes what Christmas truly is: a shit show. 100%, with-out-a-doubt, a shitshow! That’s what you get when you put a bunch of people with a bunch of different opinions in a room with eggnog (or Coors Light) for an extended period of time. But that’s okay! Shitshows aren’t always a bad thing. In Christmas Vacation, Cousin Eddie draining the shit from his RV out in front of Clark’s house could verbatim be described as a shitshow. All irony aside, Uncle Eddie was creating a shit show. But also, the ending of CV shows his kids having the best Christmas ever (again, in the midst of a literal shit show). Spending time with the ones we love during the holiday season may turn into a shitshow, but it’s a good shitshow because we are spending time with the ones we love. My great-grandma used to say you tease the ones you love the most. And argue and fight over trivial card games. Happy Holidays!