My Two-Cents: Batting .500

Five out of ten, one of out two. That’s 50%. That’s batting .500 – If you were a major league baseball player, you’d be a Hall of Famer. (Realistically, you’d only need to bat about .330 to be a Hall of Famer, so .500 would actually put you on the upper end of the Hall of Fame.) If we go by these metrics, that means if your trials and tribulations success/batting average was .500, you could technically consider yourself a Hall of Famer -- or the top of your field. A 50% fail rate and still considered the top of the field? I’m going to keep this in mind as the New Year approaches and it becomes resolution-setting time. 

A .500 average (or only succeeding ½ of the time) and still being considered a success seems kinda like low-balling it to me. But who would I be to shit on these lowballers when they have Hall of Fame inductee status and I don’t? Therefore, I think I should take a page out of the MLB players' book, following the .500 at-bat metric while setting new goals. And also just setting goals that are extremely attainable. Here are my new extremely attainable New Year's Resolutions for 2024.

1. Only snooze my alarm 50% of the time
2. Only have a diet coke every other day
3. Put away my laundry right away 50% of the time
4. Read 50% of a book
5. Attempt to make it through Season 4 of Gossip Girl (which I’ve been on for the past 4 years) putting me over 50% done with the show
6. Work out 3-4 days a week (again, bating .500)
7. Stop gossiping 50% of the time
8. Reply to 50% of my emails in a timely fashion

Let’s be honest, 100% of the time is just too much to ask for. 50%, or .500, is much more realistic and attainable. And it puts you in the Hall of Fame ballpark, which is a great perspective to use when you're trying to justify low-balling resolutions. I should point out that this isn’t the only perspective you could look at .500 from... .500 from the free throw line, or shooting 5 from 10, would put your numbers below Shaq. Which would be considered very poor performance. But that’s neither here nor there since I’m going to compare my 50% success rate performance to baseball success, not basketball.