My Two-Cents: Theories Theories Theories

I love theories! Point out nothing about nothing. Stamp things as Seinfeld would in real-time. Here are some currently coined theories/phenomena/random noticings.

1. Room Color Theory: The color of your childhood bedroom probably says a lot about you. You can look at someone and know if they had a purple, blue, pink, or yellow room as a kid. I can’t elaborate here, it just is.
2. The Lindsay Lohan Phenomenon: In Mean Girls, Lindsay Lohan’s character pretends to be bad at math so her crush will help her. Turns out he’s really bad at math though. I think this could apply to a whole array of things beyond math. I’d bet pretty much everyone has either Lindsay Lohaned or been Lindsay Lohaned at some point; it’s a universal experience. 
3. Potato Famine Phenomenon: This is where you accidentally over-use something to the point you no longer like it. I entered a state of perplexed worry the other night when it occurred to me I might accidentally Potato-Famine my love for deli sandwiches. It’s all I’ve been eating, pretty much every meal. They’re just so good! And they have mayo! Mayo would be my condiment of choice if I were ever sent to exile on a lonely island with just one of all food categories. 
4. Background Noise People vs Silence People: Humans are twofold, and this is their main division. You can be a background noise person – someone who finds comfort in background noise. Or, you can be a silent person – someone who thrives in the absence of all buzz.
5. Different Stokes for Different Folks: This isn’t a theory, just something I’ve taken a liking for saying in response to pretty much everything. Thanks, Brooke and Connor Start a Podcast for this one.
6. Swifty-Diversion Theory: Though I like Taylor Swift and think she deserves the hype, there is a sub-group of people I can not stand behind: the extreme swifties. However, I feel like if this subgroup didn’t have Ms Swift as their sole hobby, they would probably be diverting their attention into much less harmless fandom. I’m not sure what, but I feel as if their intensely shown devotion has no bounds and I’m not really looking to find out what that other fan base would be. So I’ve decided to plead neutral on the Swifty fanbase in lieu of finding out what else they could do. Let’s just all be glad the Swifties are Diverted
7. Chameleon Theory: I know a couple of people who I would classify as chameleons; these bastards could go anywhere and somehow blend/fit in. An art show, a motorcycle rally, a Mormon church service, any dive bar, an accounting lecture, a Jewish wedding – you name it. Chameleons know no bounds. 
8. Gunner Phenomeon: According to Urban Dictionary, in the academic setting a Gunner is an overzealous, overcomplete, overambitious cut-throat bastard. (I may have added the profanity.) But anyway, that checks out with the way I’ve been using it. Further, there are two types of gunners. Gunners who admit they’re gunners, and gunners who pretend they are not gunners. There's nothing wrong with gunners since they'll probably be your boss someday. But if you're going to be a gunner, be the first type and just admit you’re a gunner!
9. Hat-selectivity Theory: Only certain people can pull off hats. If you’re wondering if that’s you, I have some bad news. If you can, you already know. 

That’s all for now. Happy Thursday ;)

Kate