My Two-Cents: Don't be a Kevin

In this world, there is only one thing you should avoid: Being a Kevin. Kevin from the Jonas Brothers of course. Kevin is no one's favorite Jonas Brother. 

Half the time Kevin is up on stage, I bet his guitar isn’t even plugged in. I bet Nick and Joe told their parents they wanted to start a band they were like, “Now boys, you have to include your brother Kevin,” and then they were like “Seriously! Why Kevin! He sucks.” And the rest is history.

At some point in your life, you’ll probably find yourself in a situation where you’re a Kevin. How do you know if you're a Kevin, since it may slip by you if you're not careful: ask yourself, Am I a Nick? Am I a Joe? If the answer is no, nay, or probably not, then I hate to be the bearer of bad news – but you're a Kevin.

Kevin’s have been numerous and plentiful throughout history, but I have none to name because you probably wouldn’t remember them. I’m sure Julius Ceaser had a Kevin. I’m sure Winston Churchill had a Kevin. Kevin is the equivalent of Chris Bosh playing alongside Dwyane Wade and Lebron James; yeah he once did a cameo on Jesse, but other than that, do you remember anything about Chris Bosh? Nope. A Kevin. I’m sure Kevin is a really nice guy, but notice how Kevin’s solo career went? It didn’t. (Kevin Jonas, if you're reading this – just know what I’m saying truly isn’t anything personal. I’m sure you are happy and pleased being a Kevin. I just google searched you and found out you are happily married and employed. Buddy for you! Hope all is well.) But Kevins rarely make history. Kevins are squares. Real fuddy-duddies. That’s why you want to be a Nick or Joe.

When I was a kid, my favorite Jonas Brother was Joe. Demi Lovato, you lucky son of a gun. Joe was edgy – about as edgy as you can be for a guy singing and dancing on Camp Rock. Nick was coy and funny and played some song in a boat on Camp Rock that was enduring and concurrently cheesy. But Kevin, I don’t remember anything about him. 

If you feel like you might be a Kevin, you have a couple questions to ask yourself. First, do you enjoy being a Kevin? If so, no judgment, buddy for you. But if you don’t like being a Kevin, start taking anti-Kevin steps toward your new re-branding and Joe/Nick-assimilation. Be bold! And if your friends don’t like you sashaying out of your Kevin-prototype, ditch them and find new friends who let you be a Nick or Joe. Money talks, bullshit walks. Bye-bye Kevin.

Good Day to Everyone Except Kevin,

Kate