My Two-Cents: The Irish Goodbye
Recently, I’ve been trying to honor my 1/8th Irish heritage and perfect what is known as the Irish Goodbye. And here’s why you should too.
It’s 11 am on a Friday: you wake up groggy and with a throbbing headache, coupled with a drowning feeling of regret. In order to figure out how you got here, you think back to last night – around 12:30, you were walking the line. The jolly good time you were having at midnight was begging to simmer. I like to call this phenomenon entering the zone of proximity. A critical time in the night when you have to decide: shall I Irish goodbye?
Questions to ask yourself while in the zone of proximity:
Is anything really fun and interesting I can’t miss going to happen in the remainder of the night?
Do I actually want to talk to any of the people here?
Am I going to get any action if I stay (valid question to ask)
2 more hours more of sleep? Crunch the numbers. Is it really worth it.
Maybe I am becoming an old hag, but waking up at 9 refreshed and ready to begin the day instead of waking up at 12 after sleeping through my physics lecture is becoming more and more appealing. The Irish goodbye has become my new best pal. What makes this goodbye different than just leading any old social function? It’s Irish specialty! You mustn’t tell anyone you're leaving, you just go. No goodbyes – no bullshit see you later. Just shimmy on out of that bar. Stop for a slice of Casey's pizza if you want. Grab yourself a goodnight calzone! Doesn’t matter – you’re out of that overrated social function and on to way better things in the comfort of your own home. And when your friends wake up thinking – “Irish I remembered what happened last night!” – you’ll be glad you Irish goodbyed the fuck outta there.
See ya later suckers!
(Irish) Goodbye!
